Sold Out

hey all my faithful readers (that is, if i have any),

last week i had to go to Goroka to get my eyes checked and i found out that i need glasses, and thank goodness they had some in Goroka as it is a small town, but i found some and they um, dont look tooooo awfully bad. im just glad i can see again!

i tried out for a worship band for the teen’s worship service, but there were too many people trying out and i didnt get a place. i was kinda really dissapointed but it wasnt so bad and there is always next year but it was kinda annoying.

i have decided that PNG is my most favorite place on the planet. Not like you guys haven’t heard that before, but it totally rocks my world.

i went to a swing dance on saturday, which we have once a month. it was totally fun just like totally swinging around and acting weird and having fun. on friday night, our class played a whole bunch of running around games in the mud. =D that was fun! then the girl’s had a massive sleepover….it was totally fun. on sunday night for youth group, our class played live monopoly. its like where different houses around here are different properties and yea….it was really fun! except my team lost like majorly but we had fun losing! and then, monday was back to school. blah.

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words that never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson

-the buzzing angel (yup, that’s me!)

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“Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad” -Christina Georgina Rossetti

 This has been true for me the past few days. I find myself thinking back to a life that cannot ever be again. A life that i had in America, where i knew every street and every shop with my eyes closed. A life lived in an old house that holds so many memories for me and my brothers, hearing the birds chirping happily, rolling in the cool grass, smelling gardenias outside my window in spring, making snow angels in the bit of snow in winter, catching fireflys on warm summer nights, and feeling the cool breeze on my face in Autumn. That house in Virginia holds so many special moments that i wish more than anything that i could bring back, but i know that can never be. And life goes on.

School is busy, and i am in the 5th week of school, half way done with the term already. 5 more weeks of being a seventh grader. that is a very scary thought. band and choir are still going but i have stopped volleyball because of my busy schedule. i have very little down time and as a result, i have become very tired and i am not sleeping well, so i am trying to cut down on my schedule.

 i was going through some old letters that i have had for years and i came across some letters that my grandfather sent me along with some my grandma has sent me. i found myself missing him and realizing perhaps for the first time that he is never coming back. i found myself writing a song, or perhaps a rather long poem dedicated to him….here goes :

Here a moment, gone forever

how i wish that i could tesser

to say the words left on my lips

to let you know how much i miss

    the little things you used to say

    the simple gestures that made me smile

    oh tell me why can’t you come back

    oh please come back to me

all the times, i wish i could remember

to think back on the times we’ve shared

of all the smiles and tender moments

i’m gonna miss you till i come home

   the little things i miss the most

   the notes you sent me in your shaky hand

   oh tell me why can’t you come back

   oh please come back to me

ours on earth, the Lord’s forever

when the trumpet sounds, ill see you then

until that moment, i will always miss

   the little things i will never

   hear from your silent lips

   but have a blast as you walk forever

   with the One who saved you

   but come on back when i need you most

   come on back in my dreams

i truly will miss him, with his loving embraces and i know i will regret not telling him enough how much i truly appreciated him. but i know he is in good hands and i can’t wait to see him in Heaven.

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Well, over Easter weekend, we had a 4 day weekend so one of my friends invited me to go on a retreat with her hostel. She and her sister are the only girls in their hostel so they are both aloud to invite a friend. We went to Madang, a city on the coast which was cool. Actually it was hot, but anyways, thats not the point. We spent the whole weekend chilling at the beach, swimming…it was great. A very nice break from school and it was really relaxing. We swam in the ocean and in a pool! Sorry, but there aren’t many chlorine pools in PNG like most of them are salt water which is kinda boring but i actually swam in 2 pools. It was so cool. Anyways, sorry i have serious thrill issues. Anyways. Swimming in the ocean here is so neat. Like its so full of life right up at the beach. Like at this one resort, Jais Aben, you walk in the water where it is only ankle deep and you see like eels and sea snakes and little fishies, rainbow, Dory’s, Nemo’s all kinds right by you. We also saw a sea horse looking thing. Man i love swimming in the ocean. And then there are the lovely sea lice that eat you to death but other than that, its cool. One time, we went and swam at night in the ocean. At first it was freaky swimming out to a little dock thingy and not knowing what is beneath you. It kinda reminds me of something. The analogy(is that the right word?) of God as our lighthouse and us in the water, trying to find the way. It reminded me of how if we spend all our time worrying about whats in the water beneath and around us, we just might miss out on something really fun or a major blessing God has in store for us. But if we keep our eyes on Him, on the goal he has set for us, then we are more than likely to make it to Him and to enjoy the blessing. And we will be able to say that we trusted God to help us make it the whole way through. But back to the swimming bit. While we were out there on the dock, I don’t think i have gotten dunked and thrown in more times than i did that night. I would just have climbed back up and then gotten pushed in again! But its all good. Hhhmm…I got to shop in second hand stores so that was cool. I got some cool clothes which is always a good thing. = D I was playing rugby(its an Aussie thing) one night in the yard outside of our house thingy in Madang, and i was doing a touchdown thingy only in rugby its called a try, anyways, and so i did it and then when i like stood up again(ok so i was like sprinting) and i ran into a metal pole. it sounds incredibly ditzy and it really, really hurt. that was when i stopped playing. i had like a bruise on my cheek bone and a cut behind my ear where my earing dug into me and my collar bone has this massive bruise like all over my neck and my collar bone is screwed and yea. i was in pain. i like put ice on it and then went to sleep. and now, it still hurts. im gonna try not to run into poles next time. one of the guys that was playing rugby with me said the house thing that was attached to the pole shook like crazy, so yea. i also got a sunburn on my back, but its not too bad, although it itches. and i didnt sunburn my face like at all. rock on! yea, but i am probably rambling on too much at the moment, so maybe that is all i have to say. for now. hhhmm….cheers, my fellow companions on this journey through life.

and now for a quote from one of my favorite books, Peter Pan…this is my favorite line in the whole book but don’t ask me why, because i don’t know…btw, ya gotta read the book…

“Peter was not quite like the other boys; but he was afraid at last. A tremor ran through him, like a shudder passing over the sea but on the sea one shudder follows another till there are hundreds of them, and Peter just felt the one. Next moment he was standing erect on the rock again, with that smile on his face and a drum beating within him. It was saying, “To die would be an awfully big adventure.”

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haha, my title is from Winnie the Pooh, just for you, Anna….sorry, i haven’t written in a long time. school started up again and i’m still trying to get into the swing of things. i’m gonna probably do volleyball this term so that will be fun and i think that is all that’s new….besides i am doing a computer class for one of my prac. arts. um…hhmm…what else is there? oohh, easter is coming up! yeah! in church this morning, the preacher had those of us sitting by the isles to turn and face each other and then sing Agnus Dei and imagine Jesus walking up the isle and us singing to Him. it was really, really cool…you could just totally see it and everyone else was singing just like you…it was so cool. anyways, ill leave you with this poem….

life’s about taking a chance

try to sing and learn to dance

laugh it up with happy friends

when you bicker, make amends

thank the Lord for each new day

see what sparkles on the way

celebrate-it’s great to live

feel the joy when you can give

help someone who’s feeling down

don’t be afraid to play the clown

find new ways to show real love

so your friends will look above

to the One who loves us so

live and laugh and love and grow

by Melody Carlson (Diary of a Teenage Girl)

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Well, i am now 13. woopdedoo! I got some really awesome presents and ate a lot of good cake and it was great. Hehehe, life is looking up! lol. I’m gonna post some pictures of me and my presents on my flickr site so you can check them out. ya know, God is so good…we can’t even fathom how good he really is…we just get the icing off the cake.(hehe) and, man has he been good to me lately. He gave me tons of friends to wish me a happy birthday and two great parents who i love to death. and He gave me 3 awesome brothers who totally adore me. and that’s just the beginning. there is my wonderful grandmother who is really cool and a house and tons of clothes and food =D, and He gave me life.  oh my i can’t even say all of the things that He has blessed me with, all i know is that it is a lot…and if you havent had a chance to experience his awesomeness, just look out the window. it’s there. well, i’m pretty tired tonight so i will leave you with this song by Big Daddy Weave…

Would we hear the sound Of breathing in the dark Where would be life’s spark Without You

Would the birds every sing Would the wind blow through the trees Could touch the grass so green Under this big sky so blue With You, without You

And the sun doesn’t shine And my world stops spinnin’ round Without You, without You Tell me where else could I ever find The peace that floods this heart of mine Without You, without You

Who could fill, the emptiness inside Who would ease the pain, in my broken heart Who would come in and abide Promise never to depart Without You, without You

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ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just thought u might wanna know that…

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Ok so i just got done updating my site tons. so you can take a look at the new stuf i have added…not much but a bit. i hope u all are doing well. i’m so tired and i have no idea why cause i so did not do anything major today. i just hung around with some friends, walked around. it’s nice to know you can stay up forever and no one cares and you also don’t have to worry about homework. its awesome. well, im pretty tired so im not gonna write a long post. so, cheers and have a good week.

“May your days be filled with blessings, like the sun that lights the sky. And may you always have the courage to spread your wings and fly.” -unknown

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ok, so since my birthday is in 4 days, (wahoo!!!) my parents let me get my hair highlighted blonde (wahoo). and so now i’m blonde. well, ok, not exactly, cuz it’s just highlights but come on, a gurl can dream, can’t she? ha, well…so its break…and it’s terribly exciting. yea, well. its like a totally gorgeous day today. like i mean, it’s perfect. i just love these days. i feel like going to lie down in the grass and sleep all day or go read a book outside, just basking in the sunlight and breathing in the fresh, mountain air. hhhmmm….

as my brother would say : esta la vida or for all of you who dont speak spanish : this is the life.

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well, it’s break now!!!!!! yippee!!!! im so happy. It is incredibly nice to be able to sleep and read and not worry about homework or assignments or anything like that…it’s awesome. Last night i had a sleepover with my friend, Anna and we stayed up until 5:15 am. It was fun but now im really tired. We watched Finding Nemo, Ice Age and A Walk to Remember. It was really fun. My birthday is in 6 days which is totally unbelievable. Anna and i are gonna have a party on the 1st of April since our birthdays are only 4 days apart. So that will be fun. this break i plan to read lots and just plain relax with friends. something i have not had much time for lately.Well, sorry this is a short post but im kinda tired and if i keep rambling on, i probably will begin to not make any sense. i leave you with this last thought and remember it because it is true=D(in my opinion)

“There is no Frigate like a book, to take us lands away. Nor any coursers like a page of prancing poetry.” -Emily Dickinson

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Well, school is almost over! Only 2 more days…yippee. My brother and his girlfriend called us today which was cool. Except I never know what to say so I’m just like “uh, so, yea”. It’s sad. I’m really tired at the moment because I had a sleepover last night with my friend, Carmin who is very energetic. I kept hurting myself today. It was annoying because I kept tripping and cutting myself. Oh well. Today was like annoyingly gorgeous out. Like it was the perfect day. Just the right amount of sunlight, wind, and birds chirping. It was so cheery and perfect that it was annoying if you know what I mean.  But I guess that’s the way it goes in the most beautiful island in the whole entire world. And that’s only one good thing about living here. There’s the cool river, the beauiful mountains surrounding the valley, the sound of trucks bumping along the road, hearing the children shouting, running, and laughing at each other, the happy birds flitting from tree to tree, the crickets chirping, feeling the refreshing wind on my face, getting splurted with rain and the feel of cool mud between my toes. There is also the sound of the leaves on the trees rubbing together, the occasional dog barking and the smell of a fire burning on the hillside.  It reminds me of the song by the Newsboys, He Reigns, where it talks about all of these things, brought together makes a choir of praise to God.

It’s the song of the redeemed Rising from the African plain It’s the song of the forgiven Drowning out the Amazon rain The song of Asian believers Filled with God’s holy fire It’s every tribe, every tongue, every nation A love song born of a grateful choir

It’s all God’s children singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns It’s all God’s children singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns

Let it rise about the four winds Caught up in the heavenly sound Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals To the faithful gathered underground Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation Some were meant to persist Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples None rings truer than this

And all the powers of darkness Tremble at what they’ve just heard ‘Cause all the powers of darkness Can’t drown out a single word   -Newsboys

Anyways, these are the thoughts I wish to leave you with tonight. I’m just sitting here, amazed and in awe. Just bask in God’s goodness and awesomeness…cause it’s totally real.

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